Family Futures

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From disintegrating families to family solidarity

Eunis Vu Kit Teng, Shirley Ng Wai Ngan and Lai Wong Suet Wing, Hong Kong Family Welfare Society

dvancing

ocial

ntegration

and

ntergenerational

olidarity

mong all species, human beings need the longest

period of protection and rearing before they can

live independently. Family is the basic building

block in a community that cares for the dependent and

passes important values – including love, respect and

responsibility – from one generation to another. Yet,

some families lack these functions, particularly when

the marriage has been broken up.

The 2011 census revealed that the divorce rate in Hong Kong

had increased by 46 per cent, contributing to a 30 per cent

increase in single-parent families (81,750 families over 10

years). The higher divorce rate also leads to increases in second

marriages or partnerships, which negatively affect parenting

due to confusion and uncertainty. Even in those families that

stayed intact, there are signs of disintegration. The number of

reported spouse abuse cases in Hong Kong was 2,734 in 2012.

Among them, 87.7 per cent were classified as physical abuse.

These disintegrating families have difficulties in passing on

important family values to the next generation. Good parent-

ing carries love and support to children. Inconsistency between

parents weakens the effect of parenting, and trauma and family

violence will cause long-term damage to the psychological

health of children. According to recent research by Dr Daniel

Shek

in Hong Kong there is clear evidence that, on average,

children with separated parents have poorer emotional well-

being than those in intact families. At the same time, children

of parents with a hostile inter-parental relationship, regardless

of family type, tend to have poorer emotional well-being too.

The Hong Kong Family Welfare Society (HKFWS) has

witnessed these changes while serving Hong Kong families

for 65 years, and has developed a series of services to meet

the needs of disintegrating families, especially those suffering

from divorce and violence. HKFWS began providing special-

ized services to separated and divorced families in 1988. These

packages of innovative services, designed to meet the changing

needs of families, have been delivered through service centres

established in different locations and at different times, namely

the Family Resource Centre (FRC), the Mediation Centre (MC)

and the Women and Family Enhancement Centre (WFEC).

With the current review on ‘parental responsibility’ by the

Labour and Welfare Bureau and the adoption of the Practice

Direction of 15.10 and 15.13 in the Judiciary, emphasis on

the Family Mediation Practice and the Children’s Dispute

Resolution Pilot Scheme manifests a shift of societal values

and judges’ views on the need for change. For the children’s

sake, co-parents have continued to interact with each other in

child-rearing matters, especially in terms of collaboration and

a focus on the children. Hong Kong is an international city

and bound by the international treaties – the United Nations

Convention on the Rights of the Child 1989 (UNCRC) stresses

children’s rights to protection and to maintain personal rela-

tions and direct contact with both parents on a regular basis

if they are separated from one or both parents.

Article 18(1)

of the UNCRC also emphasizes the responsibilities of parents.

In line with HKFWS’s mission and vision, we believe that the

parent-child relationship should not end despite the termi-

nation of the marriage. Divorce does not dissolve the family;

rather, the family is reorganized from a one-home structure

to a two-home structure. How parents navigate the separation

colours the impact of divorce on children. A new project, A

Beam of Hope – Pilot Project on ‘Child-focused’ Parenting

Coordination and Co-parenting Services for Divorced Families,

Transforming from service user to befriender

Fong was a single mother who had brought up her two sons,

aged six and four, since early 2012. Reasonable access by the

children’s father was granted by court order. However, the visits

seemed unsatisfactory and Fong found that this was due to a lack

of communication and cooperation between co-parents. In view of

this, Fong joined the new project: A Beam of Hope.

Fong said: “I experienced a change in attitude from the couple

role to the co-parents role. It is of immense importance for us as

co-parents to let go and transform; and to keep up communication

on children’s matters for the best benefit of our sons.”

Fong was significantly stepping forward to cooperate with the father

of her sons, and this resulted in an improvement in communications

and the relationship between co-parents. In fact, Fong also

volunteered as a befriender to help other divorced parents.

“Love is action...not words.” Fong with her two sons

Image: HKFWS